Cultural context of domestic violence amongst Africans in the diaspora

Relationships are often glossed up by society and the media as though that is the reality for everyone, yet if we really held the mirror closer against our own society, a disturbing picture of abuse and sometimes violence emerges. In the midst of all this, are children who in the absence of any emotional attachments, can go on to develop mental health problems.

In turn parents may develop poor, authoritative parenting skills, or plain abuse and neglect as the ripple effect of this trauma begins to manifest itself into complex family problems

Over the years I have heard comments such as, ‘why doesn’t she just leave’ or ‘that’s how African men treat women’. Some of these comments are silent; some are internalized, and some come from within our own African communities

The reasons some African women in particular may take time to disclose if at all, may well be embedded in the context of their cultural values . Most worry that professionals will not understand how and why they are bound by these values and beliefs.

Female breadwinners may suffer from domestic abuse as the role reversal dynamic may leave some African men disempowered, masculinity being so culturally relevant in our African culture.

The process of dowry/lobola is deemed as a respectful process that binds families. Abusers may sometimes use this against them, ‘I paid a lot of money and cows for you, so you have to stay’ and so some women feel compelled to put up with the abuse even as it escalates.

Social dependency along with poverty, low income, low education levels, underlying physical and mental health problems can increase vulnerability and fuel domestic violence and there begins the cycle of violence.

It is most important to acknowledge that African men too suffer from domestic violence, and their experiences are less understood as they are less likely to disclose and seek help.

Witchcraft beliefs and witch craft brandishing are real issues within African communities and in desperate situations some may try to find causes and meaning of events in the context of witchcraft.

Abusers may threaten to use witchcraft on victims if they leave them, and this becomes the reality of their beliefs and experiences.

In the end, the door may be left ajar, but it takes time, bravery, sometimes extreme intolerable sufferings before sufferers call an end to the violence. Some have paid the ultimate price of death by domestic violence.

For those who do call it a day, the long journey of traumatic recovery begins and some may have to walk this long road alone, because some in our society will still ask ‘why did you leave your husband’.

Professionals must therefore develop culturally adapted interventions that are responsive to African communities’ needs, particularly in safeguarding children and vulnerable individuals affected by domestic violence in our society.
DG

My book ‘Street Clinic’ is out early 2025